


Welcome To Night Vale, Archivist

by NeedsCaffeineRightNow



Series: wtnv/tma [1]
Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast), Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Crossover, I wrote this because I wanted to, No specific time line, One Shot, One-Shot, Spoilers for later episodes of wtnv, sort of spoilers for tma but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:13:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22356967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeedsCaffeineRightNow/pseuds/NeedsCaffeineRightNow
Summary: Michael forces Jon to go to Night Vale for no reason other than to screw with him.Cecil is a sweetheart but scares Jon.
Relationships: Carlos & Jonathan Sims, Carlos/Cecil Palmer, Cecil Palmer & Jonathan Sims, Jonathan Sims & The Spiral, Michael & Jonathan Sims
Series: wtnv/tma [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1610272
Comments: 5
Kudos: 253





	Welcome To Night Vale, Archivist

"Today, my husband Carlos, was outside of the house that doesn't exist, with his team of scientists, running even more tests on the house, which has proved difficult since it doesn't exist. This is all normal, but what is not normal is the fact that today, someone came out of the house. Or at least that's what I thought Carlos said. Actually, the person came out a bright yellow door that suddenly appeared on the front of the house. Now randomly appearing doors are not something that is odd here in Night Vale. What was odd was the fact that a person actually came from inside one. Usually they just sit there radiating a dark energy as we try to eat supper. We've all witnessed those doors, but this one was different, because, as I've stated, a person came out of it. Now according to Carlos, the person appeared to be male, he has long hair that is grating, though Carlos said the man did not seem old, and he looked as though he hasn't slept in months, which is the appropriate amount of sleep. If you're sleeping more than once every three months please go see a doctor, or the city council and get that fixed. Anyways. The man stepped out of the door, or actually Carlos told me it was more like he was shoved, for he tripped and fell on his way out in a way one can only do when being shoved. The man then stood up and started screaming at someone named Michael. I do not know anyone named Michael who lives behind a yellow door, but I'm not sure I would like to. Carlos and his team were eventually able to calm the man down. And they are currently talking to him at Night Vale community college where they've been doing their experiments. They are asking him questions about the door and how it got attached to the outside of a house that doesn't exist. Also where it went because, a few moments after the man arrived the door vanished and the only door was the one that didn't exist, which makes sense, considering it resides on a house that doesn't exist. Carlos has promised a follow up with the stranger as soon as he is done questioning him. But for now, the weather", Cecil said and clicked a button so the pre-recorded forecast began to play. 

* * *

Jon knew he shouldn't have opened the door. He knew that Michael was just tempting him. But he did it anyways, and as soon as his hand had touched the door knob he was pulled in through the yellow door. As he stood there he felt the floor move. And it was moving fast. Almost like he was standing on a conveyor belt that was powered by a jet engine or two.

Soon enough he fling through the same door he had stepped through, but instead of being in his office as he had been a few moments, or what he assumed was just moments, ago, he was in a yard, surrounded by a bunch of men and women in lab coats. If that wasn't weird enough one of them had strangely perfect hair. Though Jon really didn't have time to focus on that. He pulled himself back on to his feet and began banging on the door demanding for Michael to let him back through. Of course, just a second later, the door disappeared. Before Jon could do anything else he heard a voice behind him. He turned and there stood the scientist with perfect hair asking him questions. 

He sighed and just avoided the questions he could, not even giving his name, but when the man said that he wanted to know how Jon had just come out of a house that doesn't exist, Jon thought he might just want to talk to the scientists after all. 

He allowed them to bring him to a lab, and he answered a few questions, all while listening to the radio that they had playing in the background. There was a man talking and as far as he could tell the man was speaking about him. 

Just as he had become completely sure that the host was speaking about him because how many other strangers come out of randomly appearing doors from houses that don't exist?!? He was the first according to the man on the radio. 

But then something odd happened, the man said that he was going to switch it to the weather, but instead a song started playing. He could make out the lyrics, but he wasn't sure if the song was about love or rebellion, or even about religion. He wasn't sure he wanted to know actually so he stopped listening, best he could anyhow. 

The scientist, who had introduced himself as Carlos, told him that he was done with questions and that he had to share them with his husband Cecil, who was apparently the man on the radio. Jon, obviously, asked him why he had to do this and he got the weirdest answer he could have possibly imagined. 

"He has to tell the rest of Night Vale", Carlos said this as though it was important for the whole town to know Jon's name and that he was there.

That didn't do anything to help how Jon was already feeling about all of this, which was bad, but it did help when Carlos offered to bring him to the radio station so Cecil could explain. Something about how he is a scientist and is good at science, but Cecil is good people and explanation, unless their scientific explanations, then that was Carlos' job. 

Jon just nodded and allowed the scientist with perfect hair to take him to the Night Vale radio station.   
  


* * *

Cecil smiled at his phone as he got a text from Carlos. Deciding that the people were probably waiting for their update, he switched off the weather, only at the end of course, and began to talk into the mic once more. 

"Well, listeners, I just received a text message from my husband, Carlos, he is bringing the stranger to the radio station! Isn't that fantastic. Now we can all get to know him at once. Now Carlos hasn't told me much about the stranger, but has informed me that his name is Jon and although he is an archivist he doesn't not want to be called archivist. Please do not refer to him as such and I'm sure we will all get along fine. Now, as I'm sure you're all aware, since I told you, the stranger appeared from a yellow door that randomly appeared on the outside of the house that doesn't exist. This is only odd because he came out of it. And I'm sure he very insecure about that so I'll be sure to go straight in with that line of questioning so we can get to the stuff that isn't so personal, like what he had for lunch. I'll tell you what I had for lunch, it was leftovers from the amazing dinner that Carlos, my husband, made last night, and oh- speak of the devil. Carlos just walked in with the stranger. "

"Listeners, Carlos is saying that he would love to stay and talk but he must get back to doing science. Which is very important. That's okay though. Goodbye, Carlos, I love you....stay safe. Okay, he just left but Jon, the stranger who came through the door is standing awkwardly near my desk. Jon, you can sit down if you want. There's an extra chair right there. Yes... Good. Great! Listeners, Jon is here and ready to answer our questions. So, Jon, who are you?"

* * *

Cecil wasn't at all what Jon imagined. Especially, but not limited to, because of the eyeball on his forehead. It was as though the eye marked him at birth or something. Jon didn't like it, but since no one seemed to care, he wouldn't say anything about it. If Cecil was an avatar, he didn't want to upset him and get killed. Though, honestly, it didn't seem like Cecil would hurt a fly. He seemed too nice. Not that Jon still wasn't going to be on high alert. 

When Carlos left Jon had just stood there, awkwardly staring at everything other than Cecil's forehead. That was until Cecil asked him to sit down. He began to talk to both him and the citizens of Night Vale at the same time, but eventually the question came. 

"So, Jon, who are you?", Cecil has asked it so plainly, but as though he was genuinely curious, and also like a reporter. It was a bit alarming to hear the question asked like that. And even though Jon wanted to lie, he spoke truthfully when he answered. 

"I'm Jonathan Sims, the Archivist", he said, not sure where it had come from. He had never just called himself the archivist before. It was strange, but somehow it felt more right than saying he worked for the Magnus Institute. 

"How interesting, and Jon, are you British? Because you sound British, but Carlos, my husband, hadn't mentioned that you were and well, he's a scientist so it's odd for him to leave out any details, unless he considered them unimportant, which he may have, but I don't think it's unimportant, Night Vale hasn't had a genuine British person ever, as far as I know anyways, and I know quite a lot about Night Vale, it is in fact my home"

Cecil talked fast, very fast, and Jon tried very hard to keep up with what he was saying. He eventually sorted it all out and simply answered yes that he is British. 

"That's so cool!!! Now tell us Jon, how did you leave the randomly appearing doors?? Usually they just sit there, not locked, but well we learned the hard way they do not open. It's how I lost my first intern here at the radio station. Also, how did you get inside the house that doesn't exist?? I can't imagine it was easy considering that it doesn't exist"

"Um... I don't know about your doors, but a, and I doubt you're going to believe me", Jon said, but then looked at Cecil's forehead once again and frowned, "Well actually you might, but this being called Michael, it, uh, it left it's door in my office, it wanted me to come here for some reason. I truly know nothing about your house that doesn't exist, but Michael brought me here and that's all I know".

Cecil's smile didn't falter, in fact it seemed to get bigger, "Wow! Carlos, my husband, mentioned that you were screaming at a Michael. I said I would not like to meet this Michael, but perhaps I have changed my mind. Anyone who can find a way in or out of Night Vale is always of interest, for there is no way to truly come into this town and there is no way to leave". 

Jon wasn't expecting that. And the way Cecil said it so ominously made his want to leave. He wanted to leave right then and there because he did not want to be stuck in this town. He wasn't sure if he actually wanted to go back to the Magnus Institute, but he certainly didn't want to be here. 

But he knew he couldn't leave. Not until Michael allowed him too. So he sat and nodded and waited on Cecil to ask him another question.

* * *

"Citizens of Night Vale. Those are all of the questions I was prepared to ask Jon. Now I do believe he is trying his very best not to freak out. You guys seriously shouldn't have come and gathered around the radio station with you torches, and pitchforks, and books. I know that none of us like strangers very much, but you must remember that right now Jon is our guest and until his Michael comes and picks him up we should probably show him a little -"

"Listeners, I'm not sure if you just heard it, but there was a very loud pop, ans now there's a yellow door in my office. And standing in the doorway must be Michael... Jon has informed that this is in fact Michael... He is very tall, I would say more than seven feet and has long blonde hair that could be pretty if it didn't look like it wanted to capture you. But it's fingers, Night Vale, you must believe me when I say that his fingers are the least human thing about this creature. The are long and very pointy. As though he has taped knives to his hands, knives that are skin colored and a lot sharper than. A regular knife...... Well I do have to- No I guess I co- Fine! Citizens. The creature has asked me, not so kindly, to stop describing it to you, but to inform you all that you may go home because it will be taking Jon with it, back to London. They are both walking towards the door. I suppose that is it. Tune in next for the sounds of hypnotic photos and pictures of whispers telling you to change everything. Goodnight Night Vale, Goodnight". 

* * *

Before he stepped all the way through the door Jon turned to Cecil as he turned his equipment off. The man seemed to notice and turned as well. 

"Cecil, if I ever find my way back, or by any chance you find yourself in London, could I get your statement?", Jon asked before he could stop himself. 

"Sure! Though I don't know what you'd want my statement on. I'm just a radio host for a small town. There's nothing interesting about it", Cecil smiled, even wider than he had been. 

Jon had seen enough of this town and it's people to know just how wrong he was, but he smiled and said, "I'm sure that'll be fine either way. Until next time Cecil".

"Goodbye, Jon!". 

The last thing Jon daw of Night Vale was Cecil waving at him as he stepped back through the door. Now he had an avatar of the spiral to lecture. 

**Author's Note:**

> I like writing from Cecil's point of view. 
> 
> Tumblr is @needscaffeine


End file.
